Your tits are I can't wait for
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
