NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I could fuck to npr.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
