That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
