I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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