Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
