It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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