Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
