so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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