you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
