The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She said her name was "party"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
