I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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