sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
