you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
