found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
