i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
3pm strippers are depressing
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
