chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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