if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
