I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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