And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How many fucks given?
0.12846
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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