Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
