I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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