VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
