i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
