i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
