Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
