apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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