i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
