it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
