ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
