Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
