so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
