Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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