whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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