i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
