go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
