so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
