Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
