...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
there is puke in my bra ... again
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
