I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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