I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
