Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
