i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
