best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
