Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
