I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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