I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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