I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
