I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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