You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
