Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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